Beginnings

Well, I finally did it. I've read plenty of other people's blogs, but I never thought I would have one of my own. The purpose is to share a journey I have been on, and one I intend to continue.

It all started back in February.

As a protestant, I never practiced Lent. In fact, I don't think I even knew Lent existed until junior high or high school. A couple of my friends observed it and that was fine. I had no interest nor did I ever feel a need to participate.

However, this year my Sunday School teacher brought it up. He gave some of the historical background behind Lent and we spent some time discussing WHY anyone should observe this practice of sacrificing something for 40 days. What was the point? It's not a requirement for salvation. Lent is not even mentioned in the Bible. So why do it?

It brings up the true meaning behind sacrifice. If I give up something that is not very important to me, is that really a sacrifice? No. A sacrifice always costs something. The Israelites knew this. Imagine having to give up your best animals because you chose to sin. The size of your herd was a sign of your wealth. Keep sinning and your herd could be severely reduced. Costly stuff, that sin.

To make a long story short, as we discussed this in our class I felt the Lord telling me to do it. To give up something for Lent, not for the sake of Lent, but for the discipline of sacrifice.

So I did.

I prayed and vowed to God that I would not eat anything chocolate for 40 days. That included candy, cookies, cakes, or anything with chocolate in it. For some people that might not be much of a sacrifice, but I have an unbelievable sweet tooth and I LOVE chocolate. Actually, I found that I had difficulty controlling my sweet tooth. I felt out of control and I did not like that feeling. I am the master of my body, but I felt like my body was the master of me--that I was a slave to my desires. So by giving up chocolate, not only would I be sacrificing something I really liked, but I would also be addressing this issue of mastery.

So I went through the Lenten season and did not eat any chocolate. Some days were easy and some days were very difficult. For instance, I attended a wedding shower for a cousin and I mentally prepared myself the night before, reminding myself that I could not have any chocolate cake or chocolate covered strawberries, or anything with chocolate. However, I was caught off-guard by the bowls of M&Ms that were on the table. Five different varieties of M&Ms, right there in front of me. AND NO ONE PRESENT KNEW I WAS DOING THIS!! I could easily have eaten some and no one would have been the wiser. In fact, I'm sure no one would have condemned me for doing it. It was a difficult battle and one I'm proud to say that I won, but only with the Lord's help. I prayed and prayed for him to help me resist. He was faithful and brought me through it.

There were other times like that, when I wanted so badly to give in. It was through His strength that I was able to persevere. Easter Sunday came and I was free. I began eating and enjoying the things that I had not been able to during Lent.

There is more to tell, but I'll have to continue in my next post about how I came to re-instate my next 40 day fast.