Ok, so it has been a long time since I last updated. But such is the life of having two small children. I am not currently fasting from anything, even though Lent has already begun. I found that I really needed to examine my heart for my motives.
My last 40 days fast was a disaster. I found myself battling pride and "Pharisee-ism." For example, I would eat a chocolate chip cookie, but pick out the chocolate chips. As I did so I recalled the verse where Jesus is whipping up on the Pharisess, telling them they "strain out a gnat, but swallow a camel." I wondered if that was what I was doing. By picking out those chocolate chips, was I missing a greater point? I had sworn off chocolate, candy, and sodas, so I wasn't eating the chocolate. Just the cookie. Technically I wasn't breaking the fast. But was that really the point?
Another issue I dealt with was seeing certain foods as evil or sinful. Unclean, if you will. But that code was fulfilled through Jesus Christ, and He told Peter to not call anything unclean. My righteousness does not come from what I eat or don't eat, but only by the person of Jesus Christ. I was losing sight of that, and feeling prideful that I did not do certain things.
Since that fast ended (back in December, I think) I have allowed myself to eat whatever I want. Unfortunately, that never seems to go well with me. I start off ok, but then I always end up going to extremes. I will eat so many sweets and other unhealthy foods, and I can tell a difference in my energy levels and in my immunity. (Not sleeping through the night doesn't help, either.)
I would like to start another fast, but I want to be sure it is something that God wants me to do, and not just me. Otherwise, it will fail. So please be praying with me, that I will seek His face, His will, and His kingdom first. Then all these other things will be added as well.
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